Bad Attitude, or Bored?

I was working with a child over the past few weeks who has a problem. The problem is they are "smart and bored." This translates to having a bad attitude. The child is always in conflict with everyone including themselves.

The challenge with a child like this is to hear them and give them a pathway out of their turmoil.

The first thing to do is to not react. Reacting only becomes a confrontation. This then takes time and delays doing the actual work.

The next thing to do is to test them on something they know. It does not matter if they are doing the test with a bad attitude. What matters is they do the test and then see their score. In this case the person scored 80%. This allows us to know that even with a bad attitude this is a B student.

When you look at the test the questions they missed were at the beginning and the end. This means once they get to the middle they are functioning at their highest level.

Show, ask and notice. After the test show them the results. "Hey, you did 80% and why do you think the questions you missed were at the beginning and end of the test?" Let them answer. Then ask, "Why do you have a bad attitude?"

They will always answer that they don't. Then ask them what you think to be true. In this case I said, "Are you just bored?" The answer was a yes.

Then set the new performance bar. In this case the student does sports. If they don't get a certain grade level then they can't play. I have to meet with their coaches next week to give a status report.

I said look, "I'm going to send you three tests. They are all on subjects that you know. You need to get 80% on all of these in order for me to give a positive report to your coach."

The student smiled and then said, "Thank you. I will do them today."

Follow Up. The follow up will be tomorrow and I will update this blog through the process. I am rooting for this child.

Update #1: Went to check to see if the child had done any of the online tests. They did not. This of course was not a surprise nor was it something to get upset over. Avoidance is of course part of the process. I sent a supportive email explaining the agreement. This was now the second time the work was communicated (1) Yesterday verbally and (2) Today in writing.

This information went to the student first and I will give them about three hours before it is communicated to the parent. This is of course where we always have to hope for the best, but accept that the worst may evolve.

Next Day Update #2: All three test were taken. The average score was 82% and this included one test that the student only got 50%. The high scores on the other two saved her and the truth is even when she doesn't know a subject she gets more than half right. That is pretty good.

Final Update:  We had the meeting with her mother, coach, myself and her.  Her coach was all about academics and makes all the athletes sign a GPA contract.  This one had to sign one for a 3.0 average.  She had wanted it to be a 2.5.  When we went around the table I explained, "I'm not worried about your abilities.  I know you are smart.  I am worried about your attitude.  I know you get bored."  She smiled.  

I really hope we never have to bench this kid for bad grades because she is really smart and on track for a serious sports scholarship.  I'll keep you posted.